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May 24th, 2009

Awful Authors

The Stargoyle books Christi has end in two important titles. One is War With The Evil Power Master. My friends Steve and Chris were looking through lockers on the last day of high school to see what “treasure” other students had left behind. They found a book report for a novel with that title. They couldn’t believe a book with that ridiculous a title actually existed. Then years later they discovered not only was it a kid’s book, but a Choose Your Own Adventure, so the guy didn’t even have to read a whole kid’s book to do his report. Awesomes.

The other books is The Day it Rained Chocolate Chips. In my elementary school the teachers had us write and “publish” our own books (bristol board covers, paper stapled in the middle). Can’t think of an idea for your book? Check the list of inspiring titles! tDiRCC was one of the titles on that list every year and every year at least one student, usually 2 or 3 made that book. They were all the same.

page 1-“One day I was walking to school”

page 2-“It started to rain chocolate chips!”

page 3- “They were delicious!”

page 4-“This is the best day ever!”

and then there were always 10 more empty pages  they were supposed to fill but didn’t. I can’t believe no one did something like “Oh no! Now I’ll have to shovel the driveway in July!” or “Whoa! This is totally gross! My dress is ruined!” or “I found a kid with a genie lamp who was responsible. I asked him to also wish for vanilla ice cream to go with it”.  or “I have diabetes. Aggggggghhhhhrrrhhh!”

10 Awesomes Comments!

  1. KNO3

    Okay, I’ll bite.

    Page 5-“And I ate so much I became sick!”

  2. Stephanie

    My mom still has the book I wrote in elementary school titled “When Santa got married”. Mrs. Claus really doesn’t get much of a story and I think six-year old me recognized that she needed more of a presence in literature.

  3. KNO3

    Neat. How about a brief summary Stephanie?

  4. Adam Cuerden

    My father used to tell me horrible stories when I was younger. His version would have continued:

    Page 5: Then we found the kidney.

    Page 6: And the brain

    Page 7: And all the other organs

    Page 8: And discovered that there had been an explosion at the chocolate chip factory, with multiple deaths

    Page 9: They didn’t seem quite so delicious anymore.

    Page 10: This day will live in infamy forever.

  5. Adam Cuerden

    Did I mention my father used puppets? It was the most hilarious thing ever. Mother didn’t like it though.

  6. Delphina

    I have that Choose Your Own Adventure book! The Evil Power Master is an intergalactic powermongering baddy that you have to stop with the help of your Martian sidekick, but most of the endings just having you dying horribly to space anomalies along the way. Man, I love Choose Your Own Adventure books.

  7. KNO3

    Yeah, sock puppets and Choose Your Own Adventure book, great stuff.

    Page 11-”But we had enough to make stew!”

  8. Mary Tee

    Page 12 “Wait… wait wha? No! Oh god nooooo! arghkksssh no ksssshssksssssshsshshshs”
    Page 13 End of Transmission.

  9. JBlare

    DeceasedCrab did a Let’s play of War With The Evil Power Master it can be found here his other lps are on his you tube channel and are a lot of fun

  10. Emmalyn

    Haha, I just had to comment with

    Page 14 – “And that’s how I met your mother.”

    Love the comic! 🙂