Shoemaker Levity 2
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June 14th, 2009

Shoemaker Levity 2

I don’t get runnning shoes. Apparently what makes people go faster is eyesore bright colours (esp. on white), weird meshing, racing stripes, poofy plastic bits and anything else that makes it look like you’re wearing the exoskeleton of an alien rainbow slug on your foot.

Who do the makers of these shoes think they’re designing for? Is it the year 2055 and we’re about to play spaceball in the intergalactic league? What sort of clothes would possibly go with these? What do these people look like?

Why do casual shoes look sharp and well designed but hurt your foot if you do much walking, let alone running or sporting in them? Can’t they take the technology of a comfortable runner and put on the asethetic of the casual shoe?

I just went to replace my duct taped repaired runners and was disappointed. New Balance (the only company that I’ve discovered who makes shoes that fit me comfortably) had stopped making their classic 99x line in brown. Apparently that was just a few year phase they were going through, like getting into raggeton or happy hardcore. Curses! And I wasn’t about to buy those comfy shoes in the same colour they’ve had since they invented them in the stone age. They’ve managed to invent a bright grey colour. Not silver, but bright grey. Weird. Both my parents and my fiance’s parents have owned these at one point if not at several points.  Do I want to really walk a mile in my parent’s shoes? Luckily they also made a black version, which I got after removing the bright grey (or bley for the Lego fans) laces and putting in black ones instead. I don’t understand why such great fitting shoes need to be so ugly. At least these ones were made mostly in the US, not entirely in a sweat shop on Space Venus.

12 Awesomes Comments!

  1. Jon McNally

    Forget the shoes. Find yourself a couple of alien rainbow slugs and you’re set.

  2. ColdFusion

    Man I friggin love things that look like crazy scifi armor. The question is why nothing else BESIDES shoes has been upgraded in such a way. I wants me some cyborg alien slug knee and elbow pads, gauntlets, and pointless chest and shoulder pads that do absolutely nothing!! :0

    also horizontal stripes on the thighs only that only go around the outer third of the circumference..

  3. Stanley Lui

    I got friends with weird-sized feet and they recommended Saucony runners.

  4. RavenBlack

    These shoes ( ) are surprisingly comfortable, and great for running (if you have good form, or for forcing you to have good form if you don’t!), but they too mostly come in hideous designs. They are pretty much the antithesis of modern shoe design.

  5. mothra

    Dude, the Shoemaker is awesome, even if his joke went whoosh right past without me quite getting it … do keep him on regularly! Re shoes in general: I find Crocs to be quite comfortable, and they have the bonus quality of making me look like a complete idiot, so I can sneak up on people unawares and bludgeon them with my unexpected formidable mental prowess … 😛

  6. Lars

    Took me several tries to get that joke … but I finally did. Mothra, think about “clog”.

    Speaking of walking, Brian… yesterday my daughters and I went hiking on some trails at a nature center. And as we drove home, one of them said something about watching out for “poison ivory”.

    Made me think, that sounds like something I’d read about on Princess Planet!

  7. KNO3

    Well… there is always old towels, ductape, epoxy, and velcro self made footwear…

  8. admin

    Jon – I think you’re right! That might be easier!

    ColdFusion – totally. It’s almost 2010, what kind of sci fi world are we living in?

    Stanley – My fiance enjoy Saucony too. If I can’t get brown NB again maybe I’ll give em a try.

    RavenBlack – Those look crazy. I would toally try those for playing manhunt in!

    Mothra – How can Gators are super cool shoes, yet Crocs are super not cool shoes?

    Lars – That’s adorable! Thanks for sharing that! Your kids sound awesomes.

    KNO3 – If you saw my terrible halloween costumes, you’d know I shouldn’t be encouraged to make any of my own clothes.

  9. reynard61

    I’ll second RavenBlack on the Vibrams! It’s like being able to walk barefoot without the dangers of doing so.

  10. grapestain

    I do not ENJOY Saucony. They’re just what fit in the store and the dude said they were good for my crummy feet. I ENJOY Fluevog, but they never seem to fit right.

  11. Emma

    Why wouldn’t you want to wear alien rainbow slug exoskeletons on your feet?

  12. kevlin

    Well, that first shoe looks half decently plain to me.